Dogs and Kids - Part Four
When we talk about dog bites, most people think about the moment something goes wrong — a child runs up, hugs too hard, or reaches for a toy. Those external interactions absolutely matter. How a child approaches, touches, or surprises a dog can trigger a bite in an instant.
But what we often forget is that dogs are also navigating their internal world at the same time. Their emotional and physical state plays a huge role in how they respond. A dog who is frustrated, fearful, anxious, or stressed is already carrying a heavier load. Add a child’s unpredictable behavior on top of that, and the risk of a bite goes up.
Dogs experience emotions and discomfort just like we do. Pain, illness, soreness, or a medical condition can make a dog far more reactive. A limp, a change in appetite, a stiff movement, or even subtle avoidance can signal that a dog isn’t feeling well — and that matters. Stress on the inside increases the likelihood of a bite on the outside.
When we learn to pay attention to a dog’s body language — the ears, eyes, tail, posture, breathing, pacing, or stillness — we gain valuable information. These signals help us reduce overwhelm, create safer interactions, and protect both kids and dogs.
Knowing your dog means noticing the small shifts, understanding when they’re “off,” and respecting that they have emotional and physical feelings just like we do. The safer we make the environment for the dog, the safer we make it for our children.
My House Rules for My Kid and My Dog
In my home, my kids learn how to interact with our dog in ways that keep everyone safe and confident. I don’t rely on luck or hope — I teach my children the skills they need to feel in control of themselves and the dog. When kids understand the rules, they make better choices, the dog feels more secure, and the whole environment stays calmer. Here are the rules we follow in our house:
In my home, we keep things simple, predictable, and safe. These are the rules my kids follow so everyone — human and canine — feels respected and understood.
The NO’s
No hugging
No taking things out of the dog’s mouth or paws
No stepping over, sitting on, or climbing on the dog
No grabbing at fur, ears, or tail
No teasing
No touching the dog when they’re sleeping
No touching during eating, chewing, or going to the bathroom
No touching when the dog is having “big feelings” — excited, scared, overwhelmed, or upset
These boundaries keep the dog’s stress low and give kids clear, predictable guidelines.
The YES’s
Yes to lying beside the dog
Yes to gentle petting that the dog enjoys
Yes to playing with toys together
Yes to training and learning new skills
Yes to being soft with hands and calm with voices
Yes to using specific techniques to get something back from the dog safely:
“Puppy, puppy, puppy!” (my fave kid technique)
Making a noise and creating distance
Trading for something else
Asking the dog to “sit and wait”
Asking the dog to “drop it”
Calling the dog to “come”
There are plenty more rules you could add, but this is where you really have to think about your own family and your own dog. Every home is different. Do you need a no-couch policy? Do you want only adults to handle the leash? Does your child believe they “own” the dog — and is that actually creating confusion or power struggles? These are the kinds of questions worth asking.
In my house, I’m in charge of the dog. My kids know I have the final word. I see our dog as a wonderful, joyful part of the family — but also a potential risk if she’s handled in the wrong way. Just like everything else in a home, dogs require teaching, guidance, and structure to stay safe. You are probably wondering if the kid always follows the rules….of course not! She is 9 and is getting better every day, but it’s been a process. She has been exposed to a lot of dogs, often client dogs, and sees them differently than some kids. My girl likes to grab at the fur and hug the dog. I address it every single time i see it. I remind her of the rule and then I make a change. If she is hugging the dog, I ask her to move away from the dog. If she grabs at the fur while playing, I end the play. Just like the dog, the kid needs a lot of guidance, but the formula is the same! Create a rule, teach it, enforce it.
And if you’re not sure how to create rules that fit your life, this is where a good dog trainer becomes invaluable. You can sit down together, brainstorm what your household needs, and learn the skills to teach and enforce those rules. When everyone understands the boundaries — the adults, the kids, and the dog — you end up with a home that feels peaceful, predictable, and safe.
