Choosing the Right Dog: Start With Your Life, Not the Dog

When people decide to get a dog, they usually begin by thinking about the dog they want.

“I like big dogs.”

“I don’t want a dog that sheds.”

“I’ve always wanted a German Shepherd.”

“I love the way that breed looks.”

But I think we’re starting in the wrong place.

Before you decide what kind of dog you want, take an honest look at your life.

Your schedule. Your finances. Your physical abilities. Your family. Your willingness to train. Your activity level. Your living situation. Your travel habits. And, maybe most importantly, how much work you realistically want a dog to add to your life.

Then choose the dog.

Looks Should Be a Bonus Feature

I never recommend choosing a dog primarily because of the way it looks.

Of course you want to like the way your dog looks. But that should be a bonus—not the reason you bring a particular dog into your home.

Size, coat and appearance are the outside of the dog.

What is going on inside the dog is much more important.

People also eliminate potentially great dogs based on assumptions that aren't necessarily true. For example, short-haired dogs don't automatically shed less. And while choosing a non-shedding breed may be important for some families, for others it may unnecessarily eliminate dogs that would otherwise be a wonderful fit.

Dog hair can also be managed. Maybe the dog doesn't get on the furniture. Maybe you run a robot vacuum every day. Maybe you vacuum more often.

Owning a dog comes with chores.

The goal isn't necessarily to find a dog that creates no inconvenience. It's to decide which inconveniences you're willing to live with.

Breed Matters

Dogs were selectively bred by people to perform particular jobs and behaviors.

Those tendencies don't disappear because the dog now sleeps in our bed.

Breed influences things like prey drive, guarding behavior, sociability, trainability, independence, persistence, vocal behavior and how a dog responds when highly aroused. Individual dogs vary tremendously, and upbringing and training matter, but genetics matter too.

Fighting nature is not a fight I would ever choose to get into.

So ask yourself what you actually want to live with.

Do you want a dog that loves to chase things?

Do you enjoy tugging, retrieving or other active games?

How would you feel about a dog that digs?

Do you want a dog naturally inclined to watch the house and bark when something is happening?

Would you rather have a dog that frequently looks to you for information and direction, or are you comfortable living with a more independent thinker?

There isn't one right answer.

There is a right fit.

Think About the Life You Actually Live

Do you travel?

If you do, will your dog go with you? Who will care for the dog when you're gone? A 12-pound dog is generally easier to take on a plane, into a hotel or to a friend's house than an 80-pound dog.

Think about money, too.

Larger dogs eat more. Many medications are dosed by weight and can cost more for larger dogs. Boarding, equipment and other expenses can add up.

Then consider your physical abilities.

How strong and fit are you? Can you safely handle a dog that may be stronger than you?

And if you can't, are you committed to getting the training necessary to teach that dog how to live successfully with you?

Picking up a little dog when you don't know what else to do might get you through a moment. You can't use that strategy with a 90-pound dog.

Think About the People Around Your Dog

Are there children in your home?

Grandchildren?

Do children visit frequently?

Do you have elderly parents or family members around your dog?

Your dog doesn't live in a vacuum. The people who regularly share your life should be part of the decision.

A dog that is manageable for one household may be completely inappropriate for another.

Consider Health Before You Fall in Love

Every breed has health considerations, too.

Some breeds have greater risks for certain orthopedic, cardiac, neurological, respiratory or other inherited conditions.

That doesn't automatically mean you shouldn't choose that breed. It means you should understand what you're signing up for.

For example, Cavalier King Charles Spaniels can be wonderful companion dogs, but the breed has a significant predisposition to heart disease. German Shepherd Dogs can be wonderful working and companion dogs, but hip and elbow problems are among the health concerns responsible breeders screen for.

Ask yourself:

If my chosen breed is predisposed to an expensive medical condition, am I financially and emotionally prepared to deal with it?

Researching those possibilities before you bring the dog home is much easier than discovering them after you're already in love.

Start With an Honest Assessment

Before looking at puppies or scrolling through rescue listings, I would ask yourself:

How much money can I comfortably spend on a dog?
How much time do I actually have?
How much daily exercise am I willing to provide?
How much training am I willing to do?
What behaviors can I comfortably live with?
What behaviors would make me miserable?
How physically capable am I of handling this dog?
Who else will regularly interact with the dog?
How often do I travel?
What will happen to the dog when I do?
How much grooming, cleaning and general maintenance am I willing to accept?

Be brutally realistic.

Don't answer according to the person you hope you'll become once you get the dog.

Choose a dog for the life you're actually living.

When you do that, you dramatically improve the chances that you'll enjoy your dog—and that your dog will have a home capable of meeting its needs.

Three Reasons I Don't Like for Choosing a Dog

Over the years, I've heard countless reasons people chose a particular dog. These three always concern me:

“He looks just like the dog I lost.”

The resemblance may be comforting, but this is a completely different dog. Expecting the new dog to recreate the relationship you had with the old one isn't fair to either of you.

“I saw one in a movie—or at Home Depot—and it was perfectly behaved.”

You're seeing the finished product. You don't know that dog's genetics, history, age, training or how much work went into producing the behavior you're admiring.

Choosing the same breed doesn't give you the same dog.

“I just love the way they look.”

Great. Put that in the bonus column.

Then research what that dog was bred to do, what living with those genetic tendencies actually looks like, what health problems occur in the breed, how much training and exercise it typically needs, and whether those characteristics fit your life.

Because the dog you think is beautiful is eventually going to be standing in your kitchen on a Tuesday morning when you're late for work.

That's the dog you need to choose for.

Choosing the right dog isn't about finding the prettiest dog, the most impressive breed or even the dog you've always dreamed of owning.

It's about finding the dog whose needs, tendencies and abilities fit reasonably well with yours.

When we choose the wrong dog for the wrong reasons, that dog can become an enormous burden—and the situation can be terribly unfair to the dog.

But when we start with an honest assessment of our finances, time, energy, commitment to training, lifestyle and abilities, we give ourselves something much better than the dog we've always pictured.

We give ourselves the opportunity to choose the dog we're actually equipped to enjoy.

And don't even get me started on adding a second or third dog to the house.

That's another blog post.